10 Lessons from My 20s Part 1

Hey Fulfilled Femme,

This is a special edition blog post for my birthday! Tomorrow I will be turning 30. I have been spending the past few weeks going deep in reflection. About all the lessons, obstacles, and biggest wins of the past decade. I"m excited to share 10 with you today.

I will be sharing 10 more on my podcast (Fulfilled Female Entrepreneur) released this Thursday (June 29th). You are welcome to check it out here

In this time of introspection and reflection, I came across some interesting understandings. One of them is about society's pressures. In your late 20s and 30s, there is this expectation about marriage, having kids, owning a house, and having a steady "job".

For a moment that pressure came up in my awareness. I moved through the emotions that come along with it. I have yet to achieve those milestones even though many people around me have. Even though I am in a happy relationship, living in my home city, and last but not least having a business I love, according to society I didn't meet the requirements to achieve success.

I didn't think this would be my path. When I was younger I thought I would have checked all those boxes by now. But you know what... I am happy with my path. Over the past 10 years I have traveled, healed a lot, invested in myself, strengthened my intuition, created a business I am passionate about, became a full-time entrepreneur, and an award-winning author, speaker, podcaster, blogger, and Etsy store owner. That's my path.

Yours may look a little different and that's okay! Forge your own. F*ck society's standards. Live your life on your terms. Fulfill your destiny, soul contracts and create your fulfilling life and business. That's a huge thing I learned along the way.

With that being said I am so excited to share with you 10 other lessons I've learned over the past decade.

10 Lessons from my 20s.

1) Depression happens when you focus on the past. Anxiety happens when you focus on the future.

In my early 20s I experienced depression and anxiety. I was so unsure of myself and my future and was caught up in what happened in the past. I was battling major "destination syndrome" saying things like "When I become successful, rich, and have a family of my own only then I will be happy". I learned it is so important to focus on the beauty of the now. Feeling present and grateful for each moment along the journey. With that gratitude and perspective, my life changed. I started to journal and meditate to help me get into the present and it helped me immensely to empty my mind and connect with the moment.

2) There are seasons to purpose.

Once I started my personal development journey, I felt a strong desire to find my purpose. I remember putting so much pressure on myself to find it. Took so many courses, read so many books, and said yes to so many opportunities. Once I felt like I found it, changed. I realized we don't have one purpose in life rather there are purposes for various seasons of life. First, it was teaching kids to make vision boards with my first company, then more goal-setting focused, then helping people clarify their life and purpose, and now it's about creating fulfilling lives and impactful businesses. I know my purpose will refine as more years go by. So release the pressure of finding your one true purpose and embrace the seasons.

3) Say yes to opportunities.

There may be opportunities that scare you that cross your path. As much as you may feel like saying no to opportunities outside of your comfort zone, if your intuition says yes then go for it. Going on a study exchange, volunteering in Namibia Africa, investing in my first series of personal development courses, leaving a corporate job, starting businesses, going to networking events, writing a book, and collaborating with others, were all big comfort zone crashing opportunities that my soul said yes even if my ego was scared. The more you say yes, the more rewards, self-discovery, and memories can be made.

4) Act in spite of fear.

The concept of fear being a compliment was one of my biggest ahs of the decade. When my soul is confident and draws me to something and my ego says no and activates fear, I know it's the right step to take. Fear is normal. It's important to feel the fear and act in spite of it. That's how quantum leaps are created. It's important to follow what your heart and soul lead you instead of sitting down when fear is activated. This has come up for me countless times and I am so grateful I have chosen my dreams instead of my fears.

5) People can be in your life for a moment, season, or a lifetime.

In the last decade, I have had so many amazing people come into my life. Ones that I thought would be there forever. Some have never left my side and others that have come and gone. I realized we all have soul contracts with people we meet in life. They can have a key to unlock the greatness inside. Some soul contracts may be short-term. Others may be for a bit longer. It's important to trust that and express gratitude regardless of the timeline.

6) Let your intuition be your guide.

I have deeply connected with my intuition for the past 10 years. I used to be guided by what others told me to do. My parents, boyfriends, and friends. I used to live to please others around me and allow them to guide my choices. I have realized that my gut knows best. The more I trust my gut and intuition the more confident I will be to allow it to guide my life. The trust took a moment to build but once it did my life changed. I became more confident in myself and my ability to make decisions. Even the tough ones that I didn't understand at the moment.

7) Work smarter, not harder.

From a young age I was taught you had to work hard to be successful. I was taught you had to work hard to have money and money didn't grow on trees. So I became a workhorse. Working multiple jobs, taking multiple courses, and doing multiple projects at once. Putting myself last and working hard to make myself a success. Until I had a big wake-up call with burnout. I then realized the importance of filling up your cup first, doing what you love, and outsourcing the rest. I've been so grateful to have a team in my business as it's grown to allow me the time and freedom to do what I love and cultivate true work-life balance.

8) Money is energy.

Like many university and college grads, I had my fair share of financial struggles in my 20s. There were moments I was paycheck to paycheck and other moments I was thriving in my business. I have worked a lot on my money mindset and realized that money can have massive power over us. Financial pressure affects everyone at some point in their lives. I have realized that money is energy. An exchange for goods and services. It's important to realize there is more than enough for all of us and it can be easy to manifest. I can't tell you how many times I have manifested it in unexpected ways by releasing its control over me and focusing on the energetics in money.

9) Control is an illusion.

I used to be such a type A personality. Planning my life to a t. Setting specific goals with every step laid out. When things didn't go as expected, I remember feeling let down and hustling harder to fix it. As much as we try we can't control the outcome, I've learned life is co-creative. It's important to have a big vision and take steps towards it consistently and allow life to unfold the way it's meant to. The feeling to control is an illusion and a waste of time and energy.

10) Embrace the journey.

Last and not least the biggest lesson of them all, embrace the journey. Have fun. Whatever comes your way embrace it. There may be massive gifts from the universe in the forms of lessons, plot twists, and pivots in the right direction. Better than expected. Even better than imagined. If you asked me 10 years ago if I'd be here where I am now she'd be shocked. I am so grateful for the entire journey of the past decade as it has led me to where I'm destined to be. This has quickly become one of my favourite quotes. I put it on a journal that I sell in my brand-new Etsy store. You are welcome to check it out here.

I hope these lessons resonate with you. If you'd like me to make blog posts more about them let me know in the comments below!

Wishing you all an amazing week ahead.

Love and Light,

Cassandra